And I Got Their Friend ...
My Fat Chick

Hey, there's nothing wrong with fat chicks in bed. Once you turn the lights out, it's all the same...in fact, fat chicks usually do the 'sweet talk' better... right? They usually come with big tits and I didn't want the hot brunette anyway, and I can pick a blonde bimbo any time...

My friends apprecialte my sacrifices (yes there have been others). I didn't want either of these chicks anyway, they're sluts. Not like the heavenly heavy honey I got!

I wish I could actually believe that shit but the fact is that I got stuck with this fat chick because I was too drunk to pick of their hot friends. At least we used her bed.

From the The Ugly and Fat Chicks Act:

"Any female who requires a male (the Dude) to consume a minimum of eight pints of lager (or such other beverage as may be deemed appropriate at the time and subject to the Court's discretion as to suitability in any subsequent investigation) and/or a shotgun to the head before snogging becomes feasible."

"Any female who comes to a Dude's mind when any or all of the jokes more properly detailed in Appendix I (the Jokes) are told. Any female who is nicknamed Big Bertha or Ten Ton Tessie by her colleagues and/or friends behind her back" More of the act.

Oh, by the way, Ray and Jimmy were good enough to give me the pictures of their sluts.